its the turn of the new year,

and im sitting alone in my hall room. with, well, my dolls for company.

as sad as that sounds being spelt out in words like that, it doesnt affect me as much as pple would expect it to.

a random senior that ive never talked to in the past half a year just said hi downstairs and expressed shock at me coming back to hall at this time, and i stupidly replied "i never left". i dont know his name.

my parents just called from home on xinni's phone to ask why i didnt even bother to contact them for the new year, and i cant, because my phone is spoilt.

i could go down to the jcrc room to join kaiyang and xiaofeng in signing the xmas cards for hall, but being alone is strangely calming.


happy 2009.

a new doll on the way!

probably 3-4 weeks to ship =D

an ange ai hani from custom house

ive decided the little girl will be named Kay. Sweet mannered and soft-spoken, a girl who always places others before herself so that everyone would be happy.

one day i'll get her a twin brother called Kai (ange ai gaby, they'll look so cute together) XD

on my virtual fantasy wishlist >

this amazing pop-up book by Marion Bataille. i love U, and the oh-so natural transition from O and P to Q and R. M is cool, and catchy song to boot =D

"we're meeting in the middle"

this looks cool. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. whoooooo alliteration.



s. why didnt you blog ponyo?!?!?!

p. hahahah

s. PONYO PONYOPONYO PON~

p. NOBODY KNOWS ABOUT PONYO LA

s. exactly the more you should blog about it

p. okayokay i'll just stick it in

Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea. coming out 1 Jan!

the song sticks in the head.

i want to watch these!

so amusing and fun to watch!

JCDC Versus LEGO from Four H on Vimeo.

oh man so true

"I felt numb before. Now, i weep."

Days with my father is an online journal about a son's relationship with his 98-year-old father who has no short term memory.

Hauntingly beautiful and honest.

Please look at it.

Human - The Killers

And sometimes I get nervous when I see an open door
Close your eyes, clear your heart... and cut the cord

And so long to devotion you taught me everything I know
Wave good bye, wish me well, you gotta let me go

Will your system be alright?
When you dream of home tonight
There is no message we're receiving
Let me know, is your heart still beating?

Are we human, or are we dancer
My sign is vital my hands are cold
And I'm on my knees looking for the answer
Are we human... or are we dancer

Are we human, or are we dancer?
Are we human, or are we dancer?

are we still human? or set to mechanical routine, focused only on dancing, like puppets?

what do i decide.

OH PRAVIN JUST SHOWED ME THIS, DAMN COOL VISUALS HOMG.
performance at the european music awards.

cos the frightening part is,

despite all the rah-rah, i still wake up feeling quite alone.

something going wrong somewhere?

maybe its just the who i am.

i just realised that i dont think big enough.

you assure me that they're nice. its great to know that they're nice, of course, but i know what they're not.

they're not works of art.

i must do small drawings, yet think about filling museums.

"think big, start small... think big, act real."

will it be like this again next year?

from 'Here is Where We Meet'

Hair the last veil
before everything
a hair's breath
before nothing.

Hair the farewell
before the light
the endlessly black
before white.

Find in me
find in me for you
my brightness.

more surfing

an ingenious way to update any drab old pair of shoes! more people should be making these. especially in singapore.
i know i would want a few, they look so useful.



more from POSSOTHESPAT

amazing amazing skirts

from Joan Shepp


Wired Taffeta Skirt from Ivan Grundahl







Yohji Yamamoto skirt


Dramatic. Of course, when i window-shop virtually i conveniently overlook the presence of a price tag.

spent the evening with jane doing nothing.

more when i wake and feel like it.

when i saw you that day i knew that you were lost.

you're someone else's drummer boy now, aren't you.


may you be loved.

where teabags go to die

"Where do tea bags go to die? Usually squashed on the side of the saucer next to the cup, or if you have a little less decorum the table will probably be just fine. Jonas Trampedach has been observing the behaviour of tea drinkers and has evidently been learning a lot. Consequently he has developed a solution to the bag dilemma that is as simple as it is ingenious. With the ‘Tea bag Coffin’, the drinker can tidily bury the bag under the cup and out of the way. RIP."

yes i love my tea.

through yanko design via swissmiss


i like this:
Such Great Heights by the Postal Service.

cold and mechanical, yet deeply romantic at the same time. the human touch. im glad whoever made this didnt resort to the cliched visual imagery of stars and galaxies.
i dont know why i never thought of looking for Postal Service music videos before.


currently bopping along to tracks from the Chemical Brothers.

我并不讨厌幼稚的人,

至少他们对任何事物都还抱着新鲜感和可爱的丰富想象力.

cried over a broken heart.

somehow at times like these it seems all so clear the person that i am, that others and myself might like me for. what they are, and what i love them for.
like a reassuring encounter with a fairy godmother, of sorts.

it'll all be okay with time.


and the stars seem to say: of course, we've seen all these before.

before today,

Finding Neverland
The Science of Sleep
Waiting For Gordot
Persona
Everything Is Illuminated
Cape No. 7

i've watched 6 films in 4 days! makes me feel so unproductive today and makes me feel like a super movie junkie. feels good. and i dont believe that we cant find some proper entertainment now that the exams are over!

superrrrr looking forward to sun sand and sea at sentosa tomorrow, and dinner with my sis for the first time in the longest while.

maybe i should just watch pan's labyrinth now with xinni just to keep the list of movies rolling, eh. lol.

so simple

work and photo by Clifton Burt, quote by John Maeda.

its a haiku!

All I want to be,
is someone that makes new things.
And thinks about them.

through One Floor Up.

and everytime a child says "i don't believe in fairies"

there's a fairy somewhere that falls down dead



absolutely enchanting movie. magical and so endearing, all the little children, and the ones that live inside us.

not so sure about the trailer, though.

when chionging for 4D final prog the next day

on wed night. or more accurately, thursday morning.

beauty is all around, even in contrived old boring ntu. we should just always be in the right state of mind to see it.

unedited, bitch.



more running around in the wee hours of the morning.










the ghosts of us.
last one is raw image for my 4D vid.

its great to wait for,

or come back to everyday, a roomie and friend that you've known so long, and are going through the same things with.

we are absolutely comfortable with each other, and its amazing.

almost as fascinating as the view from adm rooftop, when we lie on our backs and breathe in the stars and clear sky.

shadow:

"i think you're starting to to retreat into yourself a little too much, dont you think?"

"..."

"shouldn't you start opening yourself up to others more if you want friends?"

"..."

"what are you afraid of?"

"..."

"what else have you to lose?"

"..."

"are you going to shut me out too?"

"..."

"if you are, then you don't need me, so i shall leave."

"..."

"im really leaving, aren't you going to stop me?"

"..."

"goodbye"



real solitude is when you refuse to acknowledge even your own presence.

DAYTUM BETA INVITATION

i just got my invitation to be a beta tester on DAYTUM, which is totally rad, cos now i can count every random detail in my life, and display it all with cool typography and graphs!
such a simple idea, yet so endearing! brilliant.

its interesting looking through what other pple bother to count in their daily lives. im thinking up some stuff too. maybe the number of cats or number of red balloons each day or something. or the number of times i hear the word "tactile" or "ungerzeifer" or "abstract" or "cui" in a day. or the number of times i wished for something. or the number of times i burst out in song unknowingly.

UBER COOL =DDD


here it is: NIHILISTASPHALT'S DAYTUM

if any of you guys get it too, tell me, and we can exchange stats! ahaha. my kind of fun.



on another note. i think im having a infection on my mosquito bites or something! they are swelling and hardening up until they look nothing like bites. think i might go to the doctor's tml morning.

so gross!

唯一色彩

this was my favourite movie, and this was my favourite song for quite some time.

used to think aaron kwok was so cute in this show!

i love how silly this whole thing is, they crash their cars and suddenly everyone is a dancer.

i just woke up

in my dream i felt so intense my love for you that the moments when i stir awake are filled with extreme sadness at the loss into reality.

a love so strong that i scare myself with the possibility that i might have said out your name in my sleep.

a sadness so great i wake up in tears, wanting to hold you close.

so real that im stunned, finding distinction.

a scary feeling, this.

maybe this is a sign that im not loving the pple i care about enough.

went to an animation seminar with rfan yesterday,

featuring koji yamamura. quite inspiring, watching the techniques he used and the way he does things! worth the 7 bucks cookie and muffin from novella. here are some of his better(says rfan and me) work on youtube, nothing compared to it on big screen definitely.

Mt. Head

and some part of

Kafka's A Country Doctor

some people were visibly not impressed though. oh well. good thing i went along.

laughter meter

to what extent is he/she feigning interest?

so irritating!

i can feel my fuse burning shorter and shorter.

Great minds

often produce more by working less, for with their intellect they search for concepts and form those perfect ideas afterwards they merely express with their hands.

----- Leonardo Da Vinci

what genius.

had to give it a shot.

take it with a pinch of salt, it contradicts itself more than once. well, kinda.

is this what you know of me?

 

Pei Wen is moderately outgoing. Her emotions are stirred by sympathy and heart rendering stories. In fact, she can be kind, friendly, affectionate and considerate of others. She has the ability to put herself into the other person's shoes.

Pei Wen will be somewhat moody, with highs and lows. Sometimes she will be happy, the next day she might be sad. She has the unique ability to get along equally well with what psychology calls introverts and extroverts. This is because she is in between. Psychology calls Pei Wen an ambivert. She understands the needs of both types. Although they get along, she will not tolerate anyone that is too "far out." She doesn't sway too far one way or the other.

When convincing her to buy a product or an idea, a heart rendering story could mean a great deal to her. She puts herself in the same situation as the person in the story, yet she will not buy anything that seems overly impractical or illogical. Pei Wen is an expressive person. She outwardly shows her emotions. She may even show traces of tears when hearing a sad story.

Pei Wen is a "middle-of-the-roader," politically as well as logically. She weighs both sides of an issue, sits on the fence, and then will decide when she finally has to. She basically doesn't relate to any far out ideas and usually won't go to the extreme on any issue.

 People that write their letters in an average height and average size are moderate in their ability to interact socially. According to the data input, Pei Wen doesn't write too large or too small, indicating a balanced ability to be social and interact with others. 

 Pei Wen will be candid and direct when expressing her opinion. She will tell them what she thinks if they ask for it, whether they like it or not. So, if they don't really want her opinion, don't ask for it!

 Pei Wen has an over-awareness of self. She often feels self-conscious. She fears ridicule, therefore she is careful not to place herself in a position to receive any ridicule. She wonders what people will think if she acts in a certain manner. When encountering a new group of people, Pei Wen may stay on the sidelines until she has the people categorized, or she may behave in a "positive attention getting" manner to assure people think good thoughts about her from the start.

In the sales profession, this self-consciousness is called "call reluctance". They take the word "no" as a personal criticism. Therefore, there is an internal struggle when performing this type of work. Although this person may be a great salesperson, she still feels insecurity. She will perform better if someone else is with her because the fear of ridicule from her peers is far greater than the fear of ridicule from her clients. Many times this type of person becomes a sales trainer, because when she is training, she doesn't have to put herself in a position of being told "no" as often as the salesmen do.

 Because Pei Wen has zigzagged shaped 'm' and 'n' hump, Pei Wen is an analytical thinker. Her mind sifts and examines facts. She interprets all facts by separating them, breaking them down, and organizing them from a critical point of view. This pattern of clarifying facts contributes to her strong reasoning ability. Pei Wen's mind is constantly analyzing all situations that she encounters.

 Pei Wen's true self-image is unreasonably low. Someone once told Pei Wen that she wasn't a great and beautiful person, and she believed them. Pei Wen also has a fear that she might fail if she takes large risks. Therefore she resists setting her goals too high, risking failure. She doesn't have the internal confidence that frees her to take risks and chance failure. Pei Wen is capable of accomplishing much more than she is presently achieving. All this relates to her self-esteem. Pei Wen's self-concept is artificially low. Pei Wen will stay in a bad situation much too long... why? Because she is afraid that if she makes a change, it might get worse. It is hard for Pei Wen to plan too far into the future. She kind of takes things on a day to day basis. She may tell you her dreams but she is living in today, with a fear of making a change. No matter how loud she speaks, look at her actions. This is perhaps the biggest single barrier to happiness people not believing in and loving themselves. Pei Wen is an example of someone living with a low self-image, because their innate self-confidence was broken.

 Something is incomplete in Pei Wen's life. She feels frustration relating to her physical needs and desires. Somewhere in her life there is some disappointment, non-fulfillment, and interruption. This is very likely to relate to Pei Wen's sexual needs.

 Pei Wen exaggerates about everything that has a physical nature. Although she may not intend to deceive or mislead, she blows things way out of proportion because that is the way she views them. She will be a good story teller. This exaggeration relates to all areas of her material world. Pei Wen allows many people into her life because she is accepting and trusting. She is sometimes called gullible by her friends. That only really means that she trusts too many people. Pei Wen has a vivid imagination.

here=>http://handwritingwizard.com/report.php

La,

La,La!

When All is Lost

and There is Nothing Left To Celebrate:

Celebrate the Loss!

--Jack Youngblood, A.K.A Martin Constable, A.K.A my funky and a bit crazed drawing prof.

heard from my parents that one of my cousins has plans to marry next year.

one conversation with shawn suddenly comes into mind, and i realise our age gap is not that big after all. my cousin is seven years older, i think. my mind draws a blank when i try and picture what i'ld be like in seven years.

sure, ive got my dreams.

somewhere at the back of my mind i'ld still like to believe in what i did, back in primary school. that a prince who loves me will come sweep me off my feet, and as long as im with him we will live happily ever after. =)

and then there are some despo pple, who seriously irk me, despite how much i can understand their anxiety.

i treasure the times now, where most of what i think about revolves around me, and those that are important to me. ive seen cases where it doesnt happen, even after pple find "their other half", and i think maybe thats the start of tragedy. of course im not saying that everyone should be self-centred all the time. i dont think caring for the pple who are important to you is an act of self-centredness. 

after the juniors' graduating aep exhibition last week, i wondered if i am what i saw myself to be barely a few months ago. if the me from that point of time (that they are in now) would have approved of how im doing now.

the answer was a rather definite no. call me impatient and ambitious, but i was sure i wanted more than just this.

i'ld like to be someone who pushes on even harder in the face of setbacks.

thats not to say, however, that im gna like start to chiong ALL my assignments and email my lecturers regularly and do all my work with the fervent intentness to out-do the rest that drives a lot of the pple around us in the same year on.

i believe in my way.

its nothing that got to do with attitude, its just a way of doing things. im sure there's a better way of putting it across, but that's how i will do it for now, here.

clara would say its a matter of working smart. well, thats not exactly the thing im alluding to, but yeah. maybe.

 

what if,

like a track in a movie background, there are no lyrics to speak of, to hide?

what if all that was needed was someone at the right frequency and attentive enough to take notice.

what if lyrics are only used to conform.

lol no deeper meaning to this, just random lines. dont let your imagination grow too wild eh.

"Untitled" (Perfect Lovers). 1991

Felix Gonzalez-Torres.

Clocks, paint on wall.

"These two identical, adjacent, battery-operated clocks were initially set to the same time, but, with time, they will inevitably fall out of sync. Gonzalez-Torres created this work shortly after his partner, Ross Laycock, was diagnosed with AIDS. By assigning these redundant objects the title 'Untitled' (Perfect Lovers), the artist transformed these public, neutral devices used for the measurement of time into personal and poetic meditations on human relationships, mortality, and time's inevitable flow. Of the light-blue background, Gonzalez-Torres said, 'For me if a beautiful memory could have a color that color would be light blue.' "

i know winnie posted this before a long time ago, but the intricacy of the treatment of subject matter still haunts me.

i am constantly placing and misplacing my things.

finally am home for the weekend, and i havent been home for so long, everyone has been feeding me all kinds of stuff, until i feel so happy and fattttt.

my dad's voice felt so surreal over the phone yesterday when i called, and then i realised i havent talked to him for weeks, nearly a month. just saying the words papa and mummy made me feel suddenly like a little girl again, safe and protected.

like i could always depend on them.

and then i see mummy's newly (or maybe not, i wouldnt know, i havent seen her in so long) sprained ankle, and sombreness sets in. they look much older than i remember.

and papa just finds out his little girl has been exposed to naked! pple in drawing class. he expression is so comical, it feels a bit sad.

my sis is offering me her subway cookies and asking me to cut her hair for her. i feel like a adventurer from one of those animations, where i come back from a long ardous journey that no one understands, but still they enjoy the time when i return. haha. i feel important.

was supposed to write my lit essay, but i havent done anything productive the whole day, and it feels damn good. i havent had time to sit down with myself and talk to my shadow. so suffocated in school.

it seems to make perfect sense that the shadow becomes the manifestation of one's consciousness of self.

lovely imagery.

sometimes i need to get lost in my music playlist to remind myself of who i am. need to pep-talk myself and ask what exactly it is im after now.

what am i saying.

sentosa, anyone?

disenchanted

To free from illusion or false belief; undeceive.  [Obsolete French desenchanter, from Old French, to break a spell : des-, dis- + enchanter, to enchant; see enchant.]

i had a very tender dream last night,

one that i was very relunctant to wake up from.

i was treated like a girl, dependent and very loved.

i was aware, even in my dream, that it was all fiction, and yet i enjoyed every bit of it while it lasted.

to you

thanks.

and i woke up renewed

and ready again to fight the world alone

maybe these things only happen when im at home.

well

lets just say its not that difficult to find bad life drawings.

im not doing good enough for myself though. but no tone, and no charcoal, a bit hard to do ehh.

i need to take pictures of my work.

struggled to pull myself out of bed this morning,

and dressed to go to nj, supposedly to help tear down the coursework stuff, all the mouldy gummy bears and stuff. to take a break from adm life.

it felt good to finally be able to wear my white dress after such a long time of suppression, in the name of practicality. i figured that it was how pple putting on their sunday dresses for church felt. had mac for breakfast! ild not eaten hotcakes so early in the morning(and not late at night, my definition of night) for a very long time.  it was zen.

turned out mrlee wasnt there in school, but what's new haha. so i dint have to take down the furry gooey mouldy bears by myself, thank goodness. he said he'ld do it instead. AND THEY SAID WE STILL CANT HAVE OUR PREP BOARDS. shoot.

finding ourselves ( juice winnie kev xinni rfan me) having nothing to do even after a looooong chat with mslu and mschan on their duty at the geeral office, we made our way down to cityhall to meet shich for lunch at theSOUPSPOON. somehow everyone started taking out cameras and shooting everything. shich had her dslr and her 2d assignment, i was also trying to do shich's assignment(so interesting okay), joyce had her d9, xinniandkev melting into a single organism and watching us, and winnie, EVIL SOLDIER WINNIE, WAS ALL THE WHILE POISONING US ALL TO GET THE INSTAX.

and,so, being the easily amused and super gullible crowd that we were, we did. we even went shop to shop, trying to haggle the prices down as one big group, before finally having kev juice and me negative one hundred bucks and positive one instant cam each.

then, as if we were all shocked at the mass impulse buy, we scattered.

and polaroids, like gachapon, are just so damn addictive!

nice blue! 8D rfan and me are giving weird expressions haha. in shich words: eh wah lao shich! lol. damn strange my face shape. dont ask me why she was doing this. i was after that particular blue in paul smith's shop window, which the cam dint quite manage to get, but i think the photo turned out rather nice in another way somehow. the reflection is not in the actual picture. because the film is too ex for me to afford to snap freely, i have decided to take only one pic each day. a dollar a day sounds lesser than a whole lot of film at once. so i have three days taken up already i guess. next polaroid on tuesday, sounds exciting already! point and shoot! i like. books today: finished this one about japanese subculture and their fashion while travelling around today, its amusing to look at, and some pple in there really have their own distinctive sense of style, ungoverned by fads. i was so impressed by this hairdressing student's sense of style, with an obvious mix of influences. so cool. this other book i just started reading, introduces japanese haute couture in relation to their traditional influences. the influence of the two-dimensionality of the kimono on the treatment of the space between the clothes and the human body was mentioned quite a few times. i never knew what we know now as street fashion actually had their roots as art, with quite some depth in concept. very informative for me, and most importantly extremely inspiring! i feel emotionally recharged already. i love this image.

i find this series of work, 'The Wizard of Jeanz", by designer hiroaki ohya, really interesting! it is a collection of books that open out and tranform into very wearable clothes, and alludes to the relationship between the "transitory nature of fashion", and the "permanency of books as objects that can transport ideas". more from him here.

yeah. i should visit the school library more.

you know youve been neglecting things,

when even your doll starts camwhoring with the laptop to get your attention. have done a whole lot of stuff this week, from finding rubens to knocking on doors to interviewing xinni and getting random pple on orchard road to fill in fictitious surveys. time to take a breather, before it all starts again sunday night. i miss leira, and the rest of my family at home! damn. i resolute to type more frequent detailed entries so people can know exactly whatthehell im doing.

hellohello

im back from home.

it feels strange, because when i try, i can no longer remember clearly how i used to dress in my life before the past two weeks. or how i talk. and look.

i dont act, look or feel like myself. not that i could ever describe myself specifically. alterna persona. the irony.

i feel displaced. i am a stranger in my own home.

cant bring myself to do anything productive, and thats damn bad because i have mountains of work to do, deadlines to meet and expectations to fufill.

maybe thats why the counsellors are always busy.

i need some time to find myself.

im trying to use a mac! good lord.

vivienne westwood shoes are like dope!

my dream pair of shoes lol.

drool drool drool then forget about it, ha.

back to work, im finishing a 2B pencil in two days, its crazy, but maybe its just me and my lines and my erasing.

talking about erasing, my foundation drawing teacher pronounces and spells it as ERASOR, lol.

amuses the hell out of me.

it seems so hard

to list down who i am, and what i like.

And so,

monday blues are here cause im going back into the stone age.

who knows when im going to get internet access!

LITERATURE on the first day of school omg hardcore.

bah.

i have no idea about the rest of the pple in my class!

and am feeling strangely zen about it, like it doesnt matter since you-know-who and you-know-whats are not in it for sure.

really apprehensive about the workload, since seniors have so many life horror stories to tell.

oh well, i'll take it as it comes i guess. packing and preparing for hall is like packing up to go away for a trip, like a holiday or something.

i buy many toiletries.

back from teletubby land

it all feels so surreal, all the things ive seen and the pple ive met. even all the things we've done. WE'RE ALL FINALLY IN ART SCHOOL, WTF. you know how you've always thought about and wanted something, you get it finally and start wondering if it was the right choice and expect shit to happen. something like that. FOC was pretty great, but with my voice gone, i cant say i came back in one piece. ive seen my share of interesting pple, though mostly not really in a good way. nevertheless, im glad i went, although being unable to speak kinda took away some of the fun. last week of the hols, and all i wna do is slack at home permanently. ah well. i know my new address! weirded out by the sudden changes in life. my bed feels so neat and CLEAN after camp+staying at a temporary bunk in hall 2, i feel like some sort of a person with an OCD for cleaniness and tidiness with my roommate over the past 4 days lol. and i predict that im gna be super anal with cleaning out our room in hall 6 when the time comes.

i dont know how proper GIRLS could live everyday otherwise, in a room with unwashed dishes and dust on every surface and yellowing sud-stains and hair-balls in the drains and water stains on the mirror and i-dont-know-what on the floor and sticky unknowns with random hairs from strangers accumulated in every single nook and cranny over the years of its use. eewww. its strange how i used to think nothing about it until ive really experienced it myself.

guys should really peep around in a girl's room when the owner is unaware before commenting on whether a random girl is cute or not. like seriously.

是谁说蓝色就等于忧伤

mayday wrote a song for a children's cartoon that came from 7-11, that's good enough for everyone, and so cute lol.

take a peep at open-chan here-OPEN

[/edit] curious as to how it sounds like? 

OPEN x 五月天『開天窗』 詞：阿信 曲：怪獸 一隻鯨魚 要怎麼放進冰箱 打開門 然後用力關冰箱 然後呢 如果你還想要 放一隻大象 一份希望 要怎麼放進心臟 如果你 活的有一點悲傷 答案是 用力丟掉鯨魚 用力甩悲傷 是誰說半夜不能吃便當 是誰說彩虹不能長頭上 是誰說藍色就等於憂傷 你看看天空和海洋 順風時就展開雙翅飛翔 逆風時 就當成 在衝浪 沒有風的時候那就讓我 開開天窗 一句歌詞 怎麼讓你很難忘 方文山 林夕和我都在想 想破頭 也鑽不進一個 緊閉的心房 一個難題 要用多少的智商 多少淚 還有多少的盼望 多少人 變成緊閉門窗 孤獨的國王 我是 open chan 快樂的一天 跟你一起 OPEN！ 喔喔喔喔！ 我是 open chan 快樂的一天 彩虹長在頭上！ 喔喔喔喔！ 在遇到困難，或是不順心的時候，就聽聽這首歌吧^^ 讓你和OPEN小將一樣擁有開心魔法，開開天窗、時時都保持愉快的心情~

in all WUT-ness

SHUN THE NON-BELIEVER!!!!! SHUUUUUUUUN SHHHHHUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNN.

everyone's i me mine nowadays,

like i want this i want that im with this i think not i need money i want more time for myself i cant take it anymore i wish i could do something different. it kind of makes me sick, together with all the materialistic things i've been spending on lately. cute little megan(5) at kumon was so pleased and happy with her hello kitty mechanical pencil, she wanted to share it with everyone and kept looking at it during class. jarry(8?) likes the eraser chang bought for the kids so much, he uses it all the time and shows it to me when im there. i resolve to look at everything i have like how they do. and not just treasure leira and shino and view everything else that i have merely by their monetary value. and of course my dolls are not materialistic wants. it is as ludicrous as calling a hobby like tennis a materialistic want. its not a new year, but it seems resolutions have to be made. tommorrow im gna sit by my sis and coach her physics/chem. i did promise her that i would.

yesterday,

i just swore myself off buying dolls for the next 4 years. good luck to me.

i love my noisy music.

i love how it contradicts most everything else about me. they are so .... LOL. doesnt anybody mind the fact that their instruments and mic are not plugged into anything? the mic stand doesnt even have a BASE. been spending most of the afternoon on deviantart, looking through the favourites of the pple i favourite. some artists, i click on their page, with a few (four)thumbs from their gallery and dev id, and i watch them straightaway, without even looking at their stuff in detail. and i find myself having made the right decision. i even like their scraps a lot, and favourite their scraps. i wonder how long i have to work to be up to par, for pple to do the same for me.

memento mori

an extraordinary artist producing macabre/grotesque works in mindblowing detail. "Kris Kuksi sculpts macabre sculptures one might see in the bowels of Necropolis. The pieces are architecturally designed with deadly surreal features one might find described in Dante’s Inferno. Kris believes“not in the Devil but in demons in the mind that create the real Hell of mental anguish, suffering, and guilt which inevitably manifests the turmoil of humanity.” He builds each piece layer by layer, carving out a skeletal mixed media image and uses various “kitschy” stuff. His paintings are just as dark with chromatic shades and bold reds. His work has been compared to other horrific artists such as Geiger and Lovecraft, however, I think Kris holds a unique title for actually taking his nightmare visions off the canvas and into 3D form. His art is so detailed it would literally take you hours to view every inch of his one of his sculptures." --this site its not often that one sees such works in 3D, and wad gets me most is this: "Kris’s work leaves most in awe over the intricate composition. He does not model it in his head, nor does he sketch it out. Each eclectic piece emerges out of the seedy depths of his own mind leaving his audience to ponder their own demons" kinda reminds me of michaelangelo, only NO ONE can compare to michaelangelo because he carves from a solid block of marble. pro+anal, my favourite kind of artist =D his paintings and two-dimensional work, however, are hardly comment-worthy(=nothing much, by my expectations of great artists). check out his work HERE high resolution pics recommended!

cosfest

went to get the prints that i wanted for the second day, of course the deco pack that was limited was no longer there, but luckily this one still was.
Himmeltraum by =Toonikun on deviantART this is one of my favourites in the set of 5 it came in, i was so glad that it was still there that i dint think to talk to the artist OR ask for his AUTOGRAPH on the printsssss! URGH. ANYWAY. me and shich hung around a bit more for the competition, and after a while it just got =__= and sian so that we sort of just met shan, hung around a while for me to buy the paradise kiss postcard set and shich to ask about trigun, then we bolted out of there. turns out my sis's friend's friend's friend has an msd, that looked like a MNF woosoo from far, and the only woosoo i know of from sg cafe is Dietrich, so i therefore infer that that was crimson_cerberus. this was all inferred from the way they were standing, 3-4 metres away. LOL shan said: EVERYONE IN HERE HAS A DOLL! OMG. hanahana. call me gay la. wad about the rest of them. met yingjie there, just to say hi, and she looks so much happier wrapped in her bf. i always only recognise the dolls and not the doll owners, so i never call out or say hi to anybody, because, well, I DONT KNOW THEM. not really willing to join them anyway, because some sgcafe pple are so -__- anyway after that shich and i went to the hongkong cafe at E!hub at downtown east again, to eat and talk about our idols ( mostly hers, since HE WAS THERE AT THE CHALET OMG, spoil his own idol image, i laughed until my stomach got a workout) all the great artists there at the booths made us want to rent one next year to make some earnings out of prints =3 i dont draw MANGAMANGA per se, more like just illustration, but it would be cool. for once, i brought leira around and felt so at home, that it felt great with leira on one arm and shich's elbow in the other. we should have taken a pic, only the humans that take pics there were either 1) dressed up as some anime character or 2) dreesed up in loli/punk/wadever in between.

i went to my favourite stationery shop,

bought 3 expensive sketchbooks as catharsis, and calmed down. lesson learnt though. went to chang's to help out and hang around.

I LAMENT MY LACK OF FRIENDS.

so the prints from the pple on deviantART that i watch, that come in limited supply of 20+ sets, are almost surely gone by now because there is nobody to go down to cosfest with me today, and even my sis who was going to go down sooner or later refuses to go with me no matter how much i asked. i was so pissed at my own inability to HAVE MORE FRIENDS that i changed clothes at 1pm to get out and down there by myself, but even then I WAS SO PISSED AT THE STUPIDITY OF CHIONGING DOWN THERE TO DOWNTOWN EAST MYSELF, BUYING STUPID PRINTS THAT I WANT AND CHIONGING BACK FOR LUNCH AT HOME STRAIGHT that i took one step out my door and just changed my mind and came back in. i hadnt even locked the door yet. AND NOW IM BANGING ON MY KEYBOARD FEELING SO STUPID TO BE SO AFFECTED BY IT ALL AND JUST BOILING! FROM PURE RESENTMENT AT GOD KNOWS WHAT EXACTLY. FROM NOW ON, NO MORE ANTICIPATION. NO HOPE/DEPENDENCE ON FRIENDS/FAMILY= NO DISAPPOINTMENT. WHAT A GREAT CASE OF ANTISOCIALITY IM TURNING INTO. HURRAY FOR INDEPENDENCE MAN. I BET THESE ARE LIKE, THE LEGENDARY SIGNS OF MAJOR PMS.

i cant sleep.

figures.
houses by ~sleepyfeet on deviantART i wish i could draw with soul.

hotcakes for breakfast everyday!!!

thoroughly enjoyed rummaging through all blythe clothes and art supplies at orchard today with shich and hazel, although shich still looks weak from being diseased, after so long, lol. its like she screwed up her immunity system a lot, wonder if she'll be okay for fri's health checkup na. i dont think anyone else in the world buys boxes of yellowing white envelopes, except me and shich. better find a use for them... dint mess up much for kumon today, except that while packing homework for like, a few kids, i mixed up the maths with english. which is minor, considering the fact i pack more than a hundred kids' english, maths and chinese folders in 4 hrs, 20-50 sheets a folder, coupled with teaching them reading. yesterday's error of asking a girl to do working for long division is more disastrous, by kumon way of saying. i thank the senior teacher there sincerely every time she comes over with my error and asks me to correct it, and sometimes i think she's pissed that she has to do so, but is incredibly patient nonethewise because she is a small-kid-teacher. its a gift. i praised a boy today and wrote full marks on his reading card for his chinese oral(which is extremely rare, ive only done it this once, usually i give a half-egg, which means not perfect, or a poor or fair instead of good), and both him and the 'principal' were very surprised and pleased. she(principal) actually asked me wad i thought of his reading again to check wad i wrote. seeing chang's initials in her handwriting on the work record sheet, and having heard that she's going to leave for canberra on mon, actually makes me feel kinda lonely, like a part of my life that i always took for granted will disappear with the coming week. i love how we always call each other out to do stuff the day before or on the day itself, and trust each other to always be willing to accompany the other. we also always trust each other to synchronise to the meeting time, and catch each other on moving trains. we work alternate days at kumon, and i smile inside when i see her handwriting on the kids' handbooks, next to mine. its going to be sad to see her leave to live somewhere else, although its the best for her. of course. being entrusted with the task of mailing her stuff to her there actually makes me feel better. i tell the kids she's leaving, wondering if they feel the same loss. its hard to be left behind, and i know its harder for her, becauses she loses more.

new kid

my pullip prunella, Shino was drooling at her sales pics long time ago, but when i saw her at the toy+comic con on sat, i just had to get her. she's cute! will post pics up of her in her summery clothes set when i can find the stupid memory card adapter. YAY TO PENDING PRETTY BLYTHE CLOTHES! she stays in leira's cupboard/my bag because the family doesnt know about her yet. YAY TO EXTREME PORTABILITY. i can bring her EVERYWHERE. NO YELLOWING. lol still wanting a kid delf dreaming cherry though. maybe next year. see. what a darling. and as a plus, i managed to poison shich to get her veritas too SHICH HAS A DOLL! OMG. no prizes for guessing who pulled her over to the dark side XD

曾經跳出地球表面 一起私奔到月球現在 要回到地球表面曬曬溫暖的小太陽^^

主唱大人不知迷倒了多少少女心啊。

JUMP!开场

he's like, going to be my idol for a lifetime. like, live your dreams to the fullest no matter wad.

and my motivational vid for the year:知足jump live in上海

感动~~~man.

when we grow up, lets go be rock stars.

the prettiest thing i saw today, was a bubble pool with all the colours of the rainbow, pulsating rhythmically as if it was innately connected to the blinking stars in the sky.

flowery sentence, not my style.

today at kumon i got a student and a teacher gossiping about my nails and the streaks in my hair.

i love the colour of my nails now-- some form of iridescent beetle-y purple that looks kinda different depending on how it catches the light. but obviously the little girl dint approve of it, and my purple and white hair. going to work's such a chore, but the work itself's such a luxury compared to the other horrifying experiences ive got from some other jobs. the children i have here are such angels. one boy even greeted me today out of class when he cycled past when i was somewhere in the neighbourhood (i was going to make a comment about his new hairstyle lol). "Toes look good underwater-- large and white." somehow that sentence gave me a rather peculiar calming feeling that i cant quite place my finger on when i came acroos it in one of the english worksheets. kinda like how kingshaw in im the king of the castle felt in his last moments, lol but not quite that dark. anyway it made me less restless than i was feeling before, in a weird deja-vu sorta way. overheard the 'principal' talking to one of the boys about geometric and arithmetric series and stuff, and was totally hit with nostalgia with the slacking-off days in nj. the boy's enthusiasm and anticipation towards learning math formulas way beyond his level made me kinda guilty for not trying hard to excel when i had the duty to. now im totally thinking of taking out the ol' maths TYS and going through all the questions for the zen. actually, right now i'ld do just about anything for the zen. anyone up for drawing sessions?

leira got her new lolita dress sets today!

im overexcited again and cant wait to show her off of course. girl dolls look really good in lolita, pretty much as expected. its like they were made to be in pouffy babydoll dresses. luckily for me the china dressmaker has a girl from the same company, the clothes fit so perfectly my mum thought all dolls were of a default size=P both she and my dad cant get over how i can spend so much on doll clothes in such a short time though, because they only see it when it arrives(and have no idea ive been thinkingabout+ordering+waitingforittobeprepared+shippedfromchina for close to a month and a half) my dad thinks im unbelievably childish for someone who is about to go into university. (SO-BIG-ALREADY-STILL-PLAY-WITH-DOLLS i mentally shoot myself in the head everytime i hear that) children will not be able to handle+maintain+stopthemselvesfrombreaking bjds. yeah. i wish at least they could see the collector's value of them. i mean come on. these are works of art and highly individualistic mannnn. even if monetary value is all they can see, well at least a bjd's value doesnt drop too much even if its second hand, unless it is missing a nose or a finger or something. and even then. talking like -oh-my-god-my-doll-cost-me-so-much-money-i-could-probably-buy-4-psps-or-more- like all the pple on the online community tend to do just strips the pleasure out of the hobby man. yet another rant.oh yay.

just bumped into a lower-sec classmate in the most unexpected of places while rushing to work just now. recently ive been thinking a lot about some pple who ive not heard anything from for so longggg, that, had i been asked, i wouldnt be sure that they ARE still alive. wonky sentence structure. anyway, thinking like that makes me feel like just randomly smsing a "boo!" to prompt a reply so i know they are still safe, alive and kicking. having a reply makes me feel better, enough to smile silly at my phone even if i dont intend to carry on with a conversation. working in the evenings kinda screws up sms-interaction. i am doing fine, because there is nothing that i have to be unhappy about in daily life as it is now. i still wonder if i ought to feel motivated, seeing loh hui shan's pic advertising nanyang business school on the back of a bus stop along orchard. i dont feel like i have the ability to maintain a straight uninterrupted train of thought.

i wantwantwantwantwantwantwantwantwant!

*melts into puddle of drool and noseblood* -->thefairys.netmakes drool-worthy doll cosplay costumes.

because memes are addictive and i just finished mononoke a few days ago.

a vague translation to help understand wth is happening... 1-1 Teacher! Boys don't listen to bus attendants! Teacher! Girls don't come back from shopping! Shut up! Line! Don't disrupt group activity. Make a line of "boy girl boy girl..." Teacher! Boys are slightly more than girls. OK. So line "boy girl boy boy girl boy girl." "Boy girl boy girl boy boy girl?" Wrong! Listen carefully! Make a line in this order. 1-2 Boy girl boy boy girl boy girl Boy girl boy boy girl boy girl Boy girl boy boy girl girl boy girl boy girl Girl boy girl boy girl boy boy girl! 2-1 Leader! How should we decide girls' seat on the bus? Leader! Let's make boys sit on seats beforehand. Wait! Don't decide it by yourself! Make a line of "boy girl boy girl..." Leader! A girl is going to come here late. OK, so, make a line "boy girl boy boy girl boy girl." You mean, "boy girl boy girl boy boy girl," right? No way! Listen, sit in this order. LOL. lame ya XD i think dgray cuterrrrr. on to mushishi!

caramelldansen!!!!

lol the noah family image gone down the drain XD LOL this is funny. lavi= twins because he is the voice actor of one of them anyways. and tykki is the noah of lust!!!!!!

spammage

MOARMOARMOAR

and i just realised i love lei to bits RAHHHHH i neeed moar dolls. MOARMOARMOAR.